Wait a minute, is today Friday? Is Friday actually almost over? I’m not sure what happened to this week, but it was a fast one.
I’m starting to get a little freaked out about our (lack of) progress in getting prepared for this baby. Baby Bean’s room still looks like a guest room. I haven’t bought one item for the nursery or even a onesie yet.
I know I still have time, but it seems to be ticking faster and faster lately. My plan is to buckle down and get serious about preparations after Meghan’s birthday (next week). You’ll keep my accountable, right?
Now, on to the business of a pregnancy update….
I’m still feeling really good! I start most days with a lot of energy, and it seems to taper off by the end of the day. I think that’s normal for any busy mom, but it is more pronounced in pregnancy. Also, days that I exercise I can definitely tell that my body is more worn out than other days. Yet the exercise makes me feel energized. That’s a strange paradox.
What’s Going on with my Body
My body continues to grow and change every day. There’s no denying this belly is getting bigger and bigger.
I feel like my legs are starting to hold onto more weight, too. That’s normal for pregnancy, but especially normal for me. Whenever I gain weight it goes right to my lower half.
The weight of my belly leaves me oddly unbalanced. It’s easy to tip over when I try to bend down and I am having a more difficult time trying to hold Meghan.
It’s also evident that my stomach is being pushed higher and higher. I often feel my ribs poking into my stomach and/or intestines–I’m running out of room up there!
If you’ve been reading along, you know that I experienced two miscarriages in between my pregnancy with Meghan and this pregnancy. My sister-in-law gave birth to two stillborn babies late in pregnancy. And, although unrelated to pregnancy, I also had one of my third grade students tragically killed at the end of a school year when I was a teacher.
I mention these events because all of them shape the way I look at the world and the way in which I have experienced this pregnancy. Because of what I’ve experienced, I treasure every moment with my loved ones. I don’t take my time with them for granted. I also know that life doesn’t always read out like the story book you want to imagine. Bad things happen to good people. I no longer live with the “that could never happen to me” mindset.
Although I was most fearful during my first trimester, I still feel a twinge of fear every single day of this pregnancy. I don’t allow myself to dwell on negative things or what could happen, but I can’t completely push the fear out of my heart. It’s there.
There’s only one way that I deal with the fear and keep it manageable. Prayer. I don’t talk about religion or my spiritual beliefs very often on this blog, but I can’t mention my fear with talking about my prayer life.
The Bible says “Do not be afraid” over 300 times. Clearly, God doesn’t want me to spend my time being scared of the future or what could happen. Whenever I feel fear or anxiety creeping in, I turn to the Lord and ask Him to watch over my baby and help me be strong. He eases my fears and helps me live in the present and focus on the gifts He’s given me.
I can’t imagine trying to make it through this pregnancy without God to turn to, lean on, and be my guide. I know that even though I can’t completely get rid of my fears, He’ll get me through the next 14 weeks.