Wait a minute, is today Friday? Is Friday actually almost over? I’m not sure what happened to this week, but it was a fast one.
I’m starting to get a little freaked out about our (lack of) progress in getting prepared for this baby. Baby Bean’s room still looks like a guest room. I haven’t bought one item for the nursery or even a onesie yet.
I know I still have time, but it seems to be ticking faster and faster lately. My plan is to buckle down and get serious about preparations after Meghan’s birthday (next week). You’ll keep my accountable, right?
Now, on to the business of a pregnancy update….
How I’m Feeling
I’m still feeling really good! I start most days with a lot of energy, and it seems to taper off by the end of the day. I think that’s normal for any busy mom, but it is more pronounced in pregnancy. Also, days that I exercise I can definitely tell that my body is more worn out than other days. Yet the exercise makes me feel energized. That’s a strange paradox.
What’s Going on with my Body
My body continues to grow and change every day. There’s no denying this belly is getting bigger and bigger.
I feel like my legs are starting to hold onto more weight, too. That’s normal for pregnancy, but especially normal for me. Whenever I gain weight it goes right to my lower half.
The weight of my belly leaves me oddly unbalanced. It’s easy to tip over when I try to bend down and I am having a more difficult time trying to hold Meghan.
It’s also evident that my stomach is being pushed higher and higher. I often feel my ribs poking into my stomach and/or intestines–I’m running out of room up there!
Pregnancy Fears
If you’ve been reading along, you know that I experienced two miscarriages in between my pregnancy with Meghan and this pregnancy. My sister-in-law gave birth to two stillborn babies late in pregnancy. And, although unrelated to pregnancy, I also had one of my third grade students tragically killed at the end of a school year when I was a teacher.
I mention these events because all of them shape the way I look at the world and the way in which I have experienced this pregnancy. Because of what I’ve experienced, I treasure every moment with my loved ones. I don’t take my time with them for granted. I also know that life doesn’t always read out like the story book you want to imagine. Bad things happen to good people. I no longer live with the “that could never happen to me” mindset.
Although I was most fearful during my first trimester, I still feel a twinge of fear every single day of this pregnancy. I don’t allow myself to dwell on negative things or what could happen, but I can’t completely push the fear out of my heart. It’s there.
There’s only one way that I deal with the fear and keep it manageable. Prayer. I don’t talk about religion or my spiritual beliefs very often on this blog, but I can’t mention my fear with talking about my prayer life.
The Bible says “Do not be afraid” over 300 times. Clearly, God doesn’t want me to spend my time being scared of the future or what could happen. Whenever I feel fear or anxiety creeping in, I turn to the Lord and ask Him to watch over my baby and help me be strong. He eases my fears and helps me live in the present and focus on the gifts He’s given me.
I can’t imagine trying to make it through this pregnancy without God to turn to, lean on, and be my guide. I know that even though I can’t completely get rid of my fears, He’ll get me through the next 14 weeks.
Maryea, I can totally understand what you have gone through before this little blessing. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks on August 10th, the pregnancy had stopped progressing at 6 weeks:( I also had no idea that a baby can stop developing but stay in your body for this amount of time. I started my menstrual cycle 3 weeks later and we are going to start trying soon. Although, I try to stay positive, it scares me because I do not want to go through it again. But I know with God by my side all will be OK! Congratulations to you and your family! I have a 6 year old boy and a 3 year old girl…..Giving my son a sibling was the best choice that I have ever made. Stay positive and focused these next weeks and relax as much as possible.
p.s thanks for all these delicious recipes, our family appreciates it 🙂
Thanks for commenting–best of luck as you start trying again. It’s scary, without a doubt, but the end result will be worth it! Keep the faith! 🙂
I had a similar experience while pregnant with my son (post miscarriage and a rocky start with his pregnancy) – the fear came every day until the day he came out. It definitely keeps you on your knees. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Thanks, Michelle. That’s exactly how I feel–I won’t breathe easy until this baby is resting in my arms.
I can only chime in- you look glowing and so beautiful. I am happy you have such a strong believe. It really does help a lot.
Maryea- You look wonderful and we can’t wait to see you all next month. Keep the faith and try to enjoy the pregnancy best you can!! 🙂 We love you.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! You look fabulous :-). I love all your fall pumpkin recipes too. We ar huge pumpkin pancake eaters at our house! Enjoy the next 14 weeks!
You look beautiful and still have the pregnancy glow! I had a very difficult first pregnancy and if wasn’t through all my prayers to God, I would of never found the peace I needed to get through my pregnancy as well as the two pregnancies that followed (or in my daily life for that matter!)
I rely on God everyday! Everyday with my family is a blessing, even the days when my kids are having off days, thats when I walk around the house saying “Lord give me your strength and patience!” 🙂
You look beautiful, Maryea. I can’t imagine a life without God and without prayer. It is such a blessing to have a faith and especially to be able to share it!
I think that it is beautiful that you talk about your faith and prayer during your pregnancy 🙂
Beautiful. 🙂 Your belly is officially looking very pregnant. I mean that as a total compliment. 🙂 I LOVED that stage of pregnancy.
oh my goodness you are absolutely glowing! i can’t wait to be a mama one day 🙂
Thank you, Haley!
P.S. I love the name of your blog. 🙂
You are looking great and getting big (in a good way of course)! I love your outfit. I can’t wait to see what you decide for the nursery.
He is the ultimate comfortor, our firstborn was born @ 25 weeks and I too have never looked at life the same since then. I remind myself of the verse that I can cast all my cares upon Him, all my worries and fears are real, and I must allow Him to show me that when I’m afraid I can trust in knowing that His plan and ways are perfect. Its also a good reminder when I know that in turn, I can help others who have ben through similar experiences be reminded of Gods perfect plan, even if its not our own.
That is a great point about using our experiences to help others. I hope that somehow I am doing that through this blog.
I can’t imagine trying to live out pregnancy or motherhood without God, either. Being this responsible for someone, yet not be able to control everything that effects them, certainly has been an exercise for my own faith.
Oh, Maryea. I hope you are able to feel the blessings and comforts from above…. I’m dealing with some fear of my own and resting my cares upon Him is what I’m trying to do. It’s hard but I know I’d be lost without Him! …..Soon you’ll be able to hold your blessing! You’re doing great & you’ll have one heck of a big sister helping and giving lots of kisses. THAT will be one beautiful picture! Can’t wait!
Hang in there Julie! God loves you and I am saying a prayer for you to feel the peace and comfort our Lord provides. ((hugs))
Thank you Julie. I hope you find peace as well with what you are dealing with.