I had big aspirations for this week. I’m usually full of energy and ready to tackle the week on Monday morning and this Monday was no exception. I had recipes in mind to test and photograph, grand plans for cleaning, and various tasks I hoped to accomplish.
After dropping Meghan off at school and putting Luke down for his nap, I already had one load of laundry in the washer and one in the dryer and a batch of “super healthy” brownies in the oven. (No, really. They are super healthy.)
Then I felt an all-too-familiar sore spot on my right breast. I figured it was another clogged milk duct, something I haven’t had in months now, and I cancelled my plans to workout during afternoon nap time and decided I’d rest instead. I thought if I drank some extra water, rested, and continued nursing, it would work itself out and I’d be fine.
Within an hour, I should have known that assessment was off. By this point I was so sore I couldn’t even button my jacket without wincing in pain, a headache was developing, and I had the chills. Somehow I was still holding out hope that it would pass.
Only by the grace of God did Tim happen to have a cancellation at work and came home for the afternoon. I tried to nap around one o’clock, but found myself unable to sleep. I had pains in my legs that made it feel like my matress was a stiff board and I could not get comfortable. Although I wasn’t sleeping, I couldn’t get up, either, and stayed in bed for 2 1/2 hours.
When I got up I had a fever and felt like I’d been hit by a train. My right breast was completely red on the underside with red streaks running up the sides, warm and hard to the touch, and extremely painful. The denial was over and I knew I had full-blown mastitis. I called my doctor, but was unable to get in for an appointment. Since this was my third bout of mastitis, though, the obgyn. was willing to write me a prescription for antibiotics and do a follow-up appointment in the morning.
I started the antibiotics at 6:30 Monday evening, so I had taken three doses by the time of my appointment on Tuesday morning. My breast was still very red and painful.
The doctor’s touch was not easy to endure. She was concerned about the red area and how hard it felt, fearing an abscess could have developed. She ordered me to have an ultrasound on my breast that day to check.
Tim had to rearrange his work schedule so I could go to the hospital and get the ultrasound. Luckily, the ultrasound showed only very inflamed tissue, but no abscess. The one bright spot in my day.
Now, on Wednesday, I’m feeling better but still tired. My breast is still a little red, tender, and slightly hard. Luke’s continued to breastfeed through it all, although he doesn’t seem to prefer my right side as much now.
Mastitis is common when babies start nursing less or sleeping through the night. This has been the opposite of what Luke’s been doing, so that’s definitely not the cause of my mastitis. A more likely explanation is that my body’s immunity defenses are down due to his night wakings and my lack of sleep. Fun.
For the last week, Luke’s not been sleeping well at night and I’ve analyzed every possible scenario that’s causing these multiple night wakings and prolonged times of being awake (he’s not just nursing and going back to sleep), but nothing I’ve done seems to make a difference.
I’ll admit, my writing this post is somewhat self-indulgent. It’s so easy to get down during the difficult times, and writing about it is therapeutic. I feel better already just writing the story out. It doesn’t seem so bad. I can do this.
Nobody said breastfeeding would be easy. Then again, I never expected it to be this hard. From being the sole person to wake with baby in the night, to the food intolerances, to clogged ducts and mastitis, it’s been quite a ride this time around.
But when I see this face and hold this baby in my arms, I know I would do anything for him.
If being able to give him breast milk means enduring sleepless nights and painful infections, I’ll do it. I know this time is short and won’t last forever.
I can’t say how long I’ll continue breastfeeding Luke. Before he was born I would have confidently answered that question with until he’s 2. Now I’m just focusing on making it until he’s 1 and then we’ll see. I’m taking it month by month now and trying to enjoy the precious moments of quiet feeding times I have with him and not dwell so much on the difficult aspects.
Mackenzie says
January 6, 2013 at 3:31 pmThis is way late, but I sympathize with your mastitis pain. I had the worst case when my son (Ian) was about 10 months old. I had a 103 degree fever for 3 days and was quarantined to my bed for a week (my mom thought I had swine flu!!) but it was just mastitis in two spots. My mom, the lactation consultant, wanted to try to get rid of the mastitis without antibiotics, by pumping in addition to nursing and massaging the areas to unplug the milk duct. OMG. worst pain ever, but we were successful and I went on to nurse Ian for a little over 3 years total! More power to you 🙂
Maryea says
January 7, 2013 at 3:09 pmWow that sounds awful! Since writing this post I had mastitis again. UGH. It was over Christmas so I tried to get rid of it without antibiotics–I ate raw garlic, drank apple cider vinegar, and massaged like crazy. It was not fun, but it worked! I’m glad to know I can get rid of it without antibiotics.
Kristin says
March 15, 2015 at 11:10 amI struggle with mastitis too (and overactive letdown and oversupply and my 5 month old is milk protein intolerant or possibly MSPI – at least that’s what the doctor suspects) and I hadn’t heard of using ACV. Is Bragg’s unpasteurized ACV with the mother okay to use while breastfeeding? I wasn’t sure so I’ve been avoiding it.
Maryea says
March 16, 2015 at 6:22 amAs far as I know, it is completely safe to use ACV while breastfeeding. I always used it during breastfeeding.
Kathryn @ Mamacado says
November 15, 2012 at 10:34 amGlad you’re feeling better now (I’m late to comment!), and also….Luke looks just like you!
Maryea says
November 15, 2012 at 6:59 pmThank you. 🙂 Meghan looks just like Tim, so it’s nice to hear that Luke looks like me.
Heidi @ Food Doodles says
November 14, 2012 at 9:09 pmAw, I’m so sorry it’s been so difficult this time! But I’m glad to hear(at least when you wrote this) that you’re starting to feel better!
Maryea says
November 15, 2012 at 7:00 pmYes, much better, thank you, Heidi!
Kristi says
November 13, 2012 at 6:54 pmI am so sorry for your struggles with feeding Luke! It’s a darn good thing they’re so cute.
I haven’t had to take antibiotics for mastitis, but I have had a lot of close calls, especially as I travel for work. I have spent a load of time practically in tears in a hot shower or with the pump in the middle of the night, trying to massage the painful lumps out. Wow, there is just nothing that hurts like that! Speaking of which, do you have an electric pump? I’m assuming you probably don’t need one on a regular basis, but it was so helpful for me when I felt a painful spot coming on… I could simultaneously pump that breast and work out the lump with a thumb. I think it helped avoid full-on mastitis many a time. My daughter is dairy/egg/soy/peanut allergic as well, so I can sympathize (although the whole time I was thinking “thank god I can eat gluten”), so it wasn’t as bad. My initial goal was to BF her at least 3 months, but with all the allergies, I ended up going 2.5 years – because our only alternative for her was rice milk. She actually started sleeping through the night right when I stopped breastfeeding… after I had been arguing with my mother & grandmother that breastfeeding was not at all connected with sleeping. Whatever; it could have been a coincidence 🙂
Sorry, this isn’t an extremely helpful comment but I just want to say I feel for you! And don’t worry about the self-indulgent post. I do that to myself all the time – I’m like “Woe is me, baby troubles (#2 now), work troubles, blah blah” and it actually really helps me to ground me and realize all I have to be thankful for and how my WORST problems are totally not that bad!
Maryea says
November 15, 2012 at 7:05 pmI do have an electric pump; I’m not sure why I didn’t pump right when I felt the initial pain. I think I’m always worried I’ll pump and then not have milk for Luke. Dumb.
Great job making it to 2 1/2 w/ breastfeeding your daughter! I’m inspired. And I’m sure it was a big coincidence that she started sleeping through when you stopped. 😉
Leigh Anne says
November 12, 2012 at 11:45 amHope you are feeling better since last monday! How awful! I have to give you a big pat on the back for continuing to breastfeed. I’m a big breastfeeding advocate and BF all 3 of mine for 1 year, but with the diet issues and the mastitis…..not sure if I’d be strong enough to continue! Keep up the good work! Rest when you can and if you don’t make it to the age that you would have hoped, don’t beat yourself up about it. You’ve already done so much!
Maryea says
November 13, 2012 at 10:44 amThanks, Leigh Anne. I’m feeling much better this week!
April says
November 10, 2012 at 2:55 pmWe have MSPI and it’s been a struggle but we are still nursing at 18 months old. I also recently had pain etc but I think I caught it earlier enough to not get full grown. I nursed and showered and massaged for 2 days. It was horrible I can’t imagine what full blown is like.
We are still struggling with the food. He is still technically failure to thrive. I spent all day yesterday crying over that. I am just at wits end with food. Hearing others struggles helps me put mine into perspective and find support.
Thank you for that
April says
November 10, 2012 at 2:57 pmOh and for the sleep we ultimately started cosleeping and that helps immensely
Maryea says
November 13, 2012 at 10:43 amI’m so sorry to hear about your struggles with your son. It hurts my heart to hear how frustrated you are. I wish there was more I could say other than hang in there. This, too, shall pass and someday these struggles be a distant memory. 🙂
Simone says
November 9, 2012 at 11:34 amSorry that you are having to endure this! I had mastitis once a month for 9 months straight with my son, but haven’t had it at all with my daughter (who is 5 months right now). Each time I had it, I tried the cool/warm compress and resting, but ended up having to take the antibiotic to get rid of the fever and the pain. I am not one to take alot of medicine, but the antibiotic got rid of it alot faster. I was able to call up my doctor everytime it crept up and they would call in the KFlex for me so that I could start taking it right away. I had alot of issues with mastitis because of my work schedule and feeding and pumping, but hopefully you will see the early signs and not have any more issues. You aren’t alone Maryea!! I feel your pain….
Hope you feel better soon 🙂
Maryea says
November 9, 2012 at 7:59 pmOnce a month?! I can’t imagine. You poor thing! I’m glad to hear you’ve escaped it so far with your daughter.
Juliann H says
November 8, 2012 at 10:01 pmSo sorry to hear about the mastitis! Here’s a link with some info that maybe you will find helpful: http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/recurrent-mastitis/#riskfactors
Thankfully I never got mastitis but I did get frequent plugged ducts early on until my midwife told me about lecithin pills. You can get them at the health food store. I took them for a few weeks and never had another plugged duct since. Maybe that is something that will help you too. Don’t forget to take care of yourself in between taking care of everyone and everything else! 🙂
Julie H. of Spinach and Sprinkles says
November 8, 2012 at 4:53 pm{{hugs}} to you, Maryea…. I am always so thankful for you when you share aspects of your breastfeeding jouney. It gives me so much encouragment and I hope you know how much I appreciate that….. Breastfeeding is not easy for me. I didn’t ever think it would be easy but I never thought it would feel like producing milk was a full time job. Then with other minor hiccups thrown in, it has been a bumpier road than I imagined it would be- that being said- it is TOTALLY worth it!!!
Mastitis can be SUPER awful- I’ve never had to admit my sister to the hospital overnight once because it came at her like a train. I hope you feel 100% soon and that you can keep that awful mastitis at bay for the rest of your breastfeeding journey!
Fran says
November 8, 2012 at 2:00 pmThe most beautiful picture of Luke ever, it certainly makes your point about being so worth it. Please try to rest, I am so sorry we aren’t closer. Could you pump so Tim could do night feelings? I so admire your dedication .
Amy says
November 8, 2012 at 12:00 pmOh I’m so sorry to hear this. Big plans for the week and what a let down- we’ve all been in that situation and it sucks, but it’s worse that you have to keep enduring painful and frustrating infections. Take care of yourself and remember you are a wonderful mom 🙂
Ana says
November 7, 2012 at 11:13 pmSorry you’re going through this! I just got over my second episode of mastitis in 3 months, so I know how awful it can be. Lots of rest, water, apple cider vinegar mixed with apple juice, and extra pumping got me through it again. Sounds like you’re doing a great job! Sending good thoughts your way!
Maryea says
November 8, 2012 at 10:33 amSo did you get over it without antibiotics? If so, I’m super impressed! I’m not a big antibiotic person (I’ve only taken them 5 times in my entire life, 3 of them being when I had mastitis), but I really can’t imagine trying to fight through it without them.
Ana says
November 8, 2012 at 11:42 pmYes- I try to avoid antibiotics whenever possible, though they certainly have a place in mastitis if conservative measures don’t work. I’m a physician assistant and am pretty traditional about medicine, but I swear that during each bout of mastitis, things turned around after starting to drink apple cider vinegar! (The extra nursing, hot compresses, hot showers and sleep didn’t hurt either though) 🙂 I learned this advice from my midwife.
Maryea says
November 9, 2012 at 8:01 pmVery interesting! I’ll have to read more about the apple cider vinegar thing; that stuff seems to be the cure for a lot of ailments! I’ll have to try it if there is a “next time” (which I hope there’s not!!).
chelsey @ clean eating chelsey says
November 7, 2012 at 8:53 pmI’m so sorry you’re going through this Maryea! It sounds horrendous. You’re an amazing mother!
Maryea says
November 8, 2012 at 10:34 amThanks, Chelsey. It really is horrendous. But thankfully I’m feeling better everyday. 🙂
Alison says
November 7, 2012 at 8:32 pmOh man Maryea, what a case of mastitis you had! I had it once with Ava (8 years ago), I never had it with Maxine but had it twice with Kaz in the early weeks… all three times I’ve ever had it I’ve been able to get it under control with lots of water, rest, and an anti-inflammatory like Motrin, ASAP. I got plugged ducts with Ava ALL the time, and I now think it was because my nursing bras were too small. With Kaz, it seemed that it followed a few days in a row of exercise, and I realized it was my sign that I needed to slow down and was doing too much too soon.
It sounds like you know the culprit, it’s so hard not being able to do as much as we’d like, as fast as we otherwise would if we weren’t taking care of little ones! I know that mastitis can pop up during the holidays when there is even more going on than usual, so be on the lookout for the early symptoms and be good to yourself!
I definitely feel for you with the food allergies and all the modifications you’ve had to make to your own diet. You’re doing a great thing for Luke! Rest up, I hope you’re feeling good as new in a few more days here.
Maryea says
November 8, 2012 at 10:37 amSo you got over it without antibiotics? I am not a big antibiotic person (I’ve only taken them 5 times in my entire life, and 3 of them when I’ve had mastitis) but I can’t imagine trying to get through this without them. I got a ton of clogged ducts the first 5-6 months, and I think it was always a sign I was doing too much. I’m definitely going to do whatever I can to avoid this again during the holidays. It’s been miserable.
Alison says
November 8, 2012 at 2:00 pmYes, I’ve managed to avoid antibiotics every time, catching it early is key – although it sounds like it snuck up on you quickly! Motrin (or any anti-inflammatory) helps keep the swelling down and allows that infection to clear out of there before it gets out of control and you need antibiotics. I only take antibiotics or any med when absolutely necessary too, I’m especially leery of the abx when breastfeeding because it puts you at risk for thrush, which is a whole different ball game. (I’ve never had it, but have had two good friends who struggled with it, it can be really hard to get rid of.) Up your intake of probiotic rich foods right now if you can!
Maryea says
November 9, 2012 at 8:04 pmI’m taking a probiotic supplement and hoping that helps. I’ll have to try Motrin early on next time and see if that does the trick. Another reader commented and said she drinks apple cider vinegar and that works?! I’m going to look into that too. I’d love to avoid antibiotics if this happens again.
Sharla says
November 18, 2012 at 12:35 amI just found your blog through Pinterest and have been pinning right and left..I want to second the apple cider vinegar. I have twin boys (now 20 months) and I have had mastitis a few times since they were born. My last infection hit fast like you were describing and I was able to get rid of it by drinking the ACV and heat and water and rest.
Maryea says
November 20, 2012 at 9:36 amThanks for letting me know your experience. I am amazed that ACV works so well for mastitis. I’ll definitely be using it at the first sign of trouble next time. 🙂