Coffee Talk, Volume 3

Let’s have a coffee date, shall we? It’s been a couple weeks, so where should I start? Oh, I know. How about Mother’s Day?

Expectations and Mother’s Day

How was your Mother’s Day? I don’t hold any fantasy-like expectations when it comes to celebrating Mother’s Day. I don’t need to be pampered and put on a pedestal all day. Really. But I would be 100% lying if I said my day was great.  It wasn’t great. It went kind of like this: Tim and Meghan were on a Father-Daughter camp out weekend, so Luke and I woke up like any other day and had some coffee (me) and breakfast (both of us).

Tim and Meghan got home mid-morning and Meghan was obviously overtired but she excitedly told me about her two nights camping with Daddy. I helped them get breakfast, unpacked, and cleaned up. Somehow, all of this took way too long and when we were all ready for church, the clock said 11:00. Church starts at 11:00 and is 15 minutes away.

We were all dressed and ready to go, but I did not want to walk in 15 minutes late. So we skipped church. I hate starting my week without church, so this was not a great start to my week or Mother’s Day. We had plans to go to a Mother’s Day brunch, so we waited for a while and then left to do that. The food was subpar.

We get home and Tim tells me he needs to cut the grass. It’s going to rain all week and if he doesn’t do it today, it’ll be a jungle before he gets the chance. So he cuts the grass and I plant some flowers while the kids watch a movie.

After this I have fighting, grumpy kids who I am moderating. I decide to do some laundry. Starting the week behind doesn’t sound great to me so I get to work. One of the kids’ jobs is to fold towels but they are whining and complaining about it and the pile of towels is in the middle of the living room floor.

It’s getting close to dinner time and I didn’t plan anything because I thought maybe Tim would, but he did not so we had the leftover hotdogs they brought back from the campout along with some blueberries. I’m not blaming Tim because I should have said something. But really…hotdogs and blueberries. The fact that the organic hotdog package I sent with them to the camp out wasn’t even opened probably means they ate frankendogs at the camp out. Fantastic.

Now that I spent almost 500 words complaining about my Mother’s Day, let me say that even though it wasn’t picture perfect, I’m well aware of how blessed I am. I have a great husband and two healthy kids and I know there are much worse things I could be dealing with than doing laundry and eating hotdogs on Mother’s Day. But this is Coffee Talk and we’re friends, so I can vent, right? Mother’s Day for me was not the idealistic Facebook post I saw over and over on my feed that evening. Ugh.

On Comfort Zones

Do you ever step out of your comfort zone? My comfort zone is not in new places with a lot of new people I need to meet and talk to and think of clever things to say. My writing skills are much stronger than my chatting skills. Next week, I’m stepping way out of my comfort zone! I’m going to Salt Lake City for a blogging conference, the Everything Food Conference. This is my very first blogging conference, despite blogging for 6 years now. I’m nervous, but also very excited. I’m hoping to learn a lot and make some great connections.

Since We’re Talking Blogging Stuff…

You’ll noticed some changes around here soon. First, I’m in the process of a blog redesign! I’ve had this design for a long time, so I could not be more excited for a fresh, new look. Also, and this might not make much sense to non-bloggers and non-website people, but I’m in the process of switching hosts. I’ve been with the same host since I started blogging and I outgrew them long ago. At this point I can barely operate my blog behind the scenes because it’s sooooo slow. I know my site speed is terrible as well, and now you know why. I’m hoping this change will help it dramatically. It better since I’m paying 5X the amount I was paying for my old host. Ouch.

Things that Keep me up at Night

The weight of parenting choices can be suffocating. In my first Coffee Talk, I told you about Meghan and the ups and downs we’d been having. Some days I feel like I just don’t know her. She says things that don’t fit her personality and seems to be changing at a pace I can’t keep up with. One minute she’s her sweet, normal self, and the next minute it’s like she’s been taken over by some other girl who’s much meaner than my child. That can’t be my child. I came across this article about equilibrium and disequilibrium and it helped me understand a little better what she’s going through. Here’s what it had to say about 7 year olds:

Disequilibrium sets in again around age seven. From here the cycles begin to last almost a full year. Seven year olds tend to be very moody, melancholy, fearful, and critical. They worry that others do not like them and they may cry easily. They tend to be self-critical of and dissatisfied with life in general.

Well, that explains a lot. I wonder if I learned about this in my child development classes in college? I would have paid attention more if I realized then how much I’d need that knowledge as a parent.  I’m trying to give Meghan some grace, while still guiding her in how to act appropriately. It’s such a balancing act!

What’s up with you this week? Did you have a good Mother’s Day? Any parenting tidbits to share?