I’m not purposely slacking on my blog. I have every intention of posting more often, but life is getting in the way. Making finding the time particularly hard is Luke’s digestive issues. Poor little guy is having a lot of trouble and it’s really disrupting his sleep. I’m spending a good amount of time rocking and snuggling him, just trying to get him comfortable enough to sleep. His multiple night wakings are leaving me very tired. We have an appointment with a gastroenterologist on Monday, so I am hoping we’ll get some answers and figure out how to help him. Until then, I’ll just keep trying to sneak in posts when I can. Like right now, while Meghan naps and Luke hangs out on my lap. 
I don’t know if you can tell, but just as I snapped this picture, he was spitting up. 2 1/2 hohours after his last feed. And that part about Meghan napping? I take it back. She’s actually calling out, “Mooommmmy! Oh, Moooooommmmy! I can’t sleeeeeepppp!” It seems her napping days are on their way out the door. Okay, needless explanation over, and onto today’s topic.
Candy. Junk food. Treats. All the sugar-laden foods you only want to be in your kids’ life on a minimal basis. I long ago realized that completely sheltering my children from eating these things was not a realistic goal. When Meghan started preschool this year, it became even more clear how prevalent sugary, processed foods are in our culture, but that’s a post for another day.
Instead of trying to ban all of the unwanted junk from crossing Meghan’s lips, I’ve tried to take a more balanced approach. I keep the food I don’t want her eating out of our house as much as possible, and try to be relaxed about the food she eats in social situations and at school. The majority of food she eats is still coming from me, and I’m serving her up healthy, whole foods, so I figured she’d do okay with this method.
Even with this approach, there are times when candy or junk make their way into our house, especially around holidays. Tim has a bad habit of letting Meghan pick out a “special treat” whenever he takes her to the grocery store. The bakery at the local specialty grocery store bakes its treats from scratch using quality ingredients, but still, I’m glad he doesn’t take her very often.
Last Thursday, he brought her to the store and she picked out a crazy chocolate chip cookie sandwich. Look at that thing. Of course that’s what she picked. I cut off a fourth of the monstrosity and gave it to her after dinner.
The next day, we went to an Easter egg hunt at a friend’s house and she came home with candy that went into her special bowl where such things are kept (where there was still candy from her Valentine’s Day party at school). I had also made some cute Easter treats of a more natural variety, so we had treats a plenty in the house last week.
I allowed Meghan to choose one thing after both lunch and dinner for the next few days. Guess what? I just took the picture of the remaining 3/4 of that crazy cookie sandwich a few minutes ago, right before I threw it away. After that first night, even though I offered, she never asked for it again.
The most favored treat, the one she asked for first and foremost until they were all gone, was the chocolate nest with chocolate-covered almonds. She chose these over the cookie. Over M&Ms. Over some weird bunny marshmallows.
I’m not going to say she didn’t like her other treats, because she pretty much loves chocolate in any form and of course she likes sweet things. But her choosing the healthiest, naturally sweetened treat as her favorite tells me that I am doing something right. Her tastes buds seem to have formed an appreciation for real food that is sweet, but not sickly sweet.
The most important thing to me is that she came to this conclusion on her own. I didn’t push the healthier treat on her more than the others or try to dissuade her from eating the cookie or candies. Each one was offered as a selection choice in a matter-of-fact way.
I think this balanced approach allows her to let her taste buds be the guide. If I told her that the M&Ms were horrible for her because of all the food dyes that could wreck her brain, she would probably have wanted that treat all the more. Forbidden fruit. Doing that would have had the opposite effect and held them high on a pedestal. The treat that mom cares about.
Meghan is definitely not a perfect eater. She doesn’t savor her vegetables, to say the least. In fact, most of the time it’s a struggle to get her to eat them unless they are hidden in smoothies, pancakes, or muffins. This small victory last week, however, keeps my hope alive that she’s heading in the right direction.
I don’t have all the answers when it comes to feeding your kids right. I’m just an everyday mom on a mission, after all. 😉 Thanks for coming along this journey and learning along with me.
QuQuQuestion: What is your approach to feeding your kids candy and unhealthy sweets?
I think while a great impact comes from parents, the personality of kids also matter. My parents had some (healthier) sweets that they kept in a box for special occasions. We had to ASK to get a treat every blue moon, and were never allowed to take something by ourselves.
I was a child who always listened to my parents, and also I have never had a sweet tooth, while my brother was the exact opposite. When we were staying with my grandparents, who gave us lots of sweets, I asked for fruit instead, while my brother stuffed himself silly with sugary treats. That shows that all kids are different.
In general though, I believe it is best to keep your approach- offering healthy treats, and then the kids won´t know the unhealthy stuff.
Moderation is my mantra. I am totally against anything that is not natural but I also believe that if you ban something entirely, it becomes a curiosity. Now I am not about to say I take my kids to Burger King, but I do allow very infrequent treats that turn my own stomach. I also don’t make a big deal if a party or friend serves things I would not. I teach my kids about out why I make healthy choices, they like the idea of being healthy too. Sometimes they even ask why so many people still eat such junk! I hope I set them up for the best choices in life…I will not be there forever to help them. I want them to appreciate good food, not see it as a chore. A post is coming up on my blog that will turn everyone’s stomaches….bad food, great vacation! I admit to a massive fail every now and again 🙂
Ooops…has my old blog on the comment 🙂 Changed this one!
I tend to do that on vacation, too. It sounds like we have very similar philosophies!
Aw, poor little Luke. I hope he’s feeling better soon! I couldn’t tell he was spitting up though, I think that’s a very cute picture actually, haha.
I’m totally on the same page as you. While my son doesn’t go to preschool he gets so many treats from everywhere else already. At first it drove me crazy, but then I realized that I control what he eats on a regular basis and the treats are just occasional. Plus, I can tell the grandparents when enough is enough(it’s funny, my inlaws are totally good about occasional treats – it’s my mom I have to keep an eye on, LOL). Now if I could just stop my hubby from buying so many treats, haha. I am a bit afraid of when my son goes to school this fall, but at the same time, it’s amazing how many times he’ll choose something healthy and naturally sweetened(or even something random like a carrot out of the fridge!) instead of candy or other sugary goodies.
Aw the poor baby, I hope you guys can get some answers and relief soon!
I am totally with you on the treat topic. They do get so much at school. I can’t lie, I also buy treats at the grocery to keep snacks stocked in the house. But they are just that – treats. I also keep fruits, yogurts, and veggies to snack on as well. While the boys do love their candies they are not allowed to eat when or how much they want. More often than not when I ask them what they would like for snack or in their lunch box they will choose the healthier option. I too have the whole “if you forbid it, it is all they will want” mindset when it comes to feeding the boys.
Oh don’t even get me started on sugary treats in school…grrr….
Anyhow I share your views! Yummies in moderation! 🙂
I think you have a great attitude…. and your daughter is following your great example. I’m going down a similar path to you – my son is a bit younger, but even now he doesn’t like overly sweet/sugary things. His favourite “treat” at the moment is just a handful of raisins! He eats really well so far, and LOVES his veggies, but I’m sure he will get fussier as he gets older! It’s quite frightening the prevalence of processed snacks marketed towards kids – I don’t buy anything packaged for him, it’s all home made and from scratch.
Thanks for sharing this, it’s great to see other Mama’s with such a balanced attitude toward feeding their kids REAL food 🙂
I don’t have kids, but I find your posts to be really interesting!
I grew up with a garden and have pretty much always loved all vegetables, but I realize now that in part that may have been because I was allured by them from their start; I helped water the, pick them, and cook them! Maybe, huh? I’m sure that had some influence but I always wonder how or why some kids love veggies and some don’t!
I think you take a great approach in making sure they get into her diet though !Meghan is lucky to have a mom who cares! 🙂
My son is 20 months and we have been dealing with digestive issues from the start. We went to see a holistic practitioner who did bi0-feedback on my son. Then we followed up with working with a nutritionist. The nutritionist agreed with everything the bio-feedback told us. The bottom line we learned is that digestive issues have to do with lack of good flora in the gut. We have our son on a probiotic and aloe juice. He is also going dairy and gluten free for 3 months to help heal his gut. He loves his almond milk!! If you want to talk more, feel free to contact me.
I so feel you here. The preschool thing kills me. Fortunately my sons school provides lunch and snacks and they, I feel are balanced. Low Fat milk, whole wheat pastas, whole wheat bread, fruit and veggies. What kills is this one mom that literally brings in snacks for the class everyday, donuts, dumdums, whatever. She drives me insane. I understand to celebrate birthdays and holidays but literally everyday?!? not necessary.
As a teacher, I do often reward my students with treats. My prize box has toys in it. It also has candy in it. Honestly, sometimes bribery is the only thing that WILL motivate some of these kids. (Maybe the parents should stop bribing their kids and the kids won’t expect it at school…)
Today I’m doing a jelly bean math lesson. Most teachers do the same thing with the V-Day conversation hearts.
I can tell you that while I may give out candy, I do not buy them processed food on the regular. For example, when we do our week of testing (and for field trips), I’m responsible for buying snacks to keep them going throughout the day. I spend a lot of money on healthier food like hummus, carrots, crackers, applesauce, etc. I don’t let them bring their own snacks because I knew they’d be munching out of a Pringles can if I allowed that.
When it comes down to it, the values come from the home. I understand that birthday parties every week at school are completely unnecessary (especially with those nasty grocery-store-bakery-red-dyed-icing cupcakes), but I can’t stop kids from bringing them in unless it’s against the rules (it’s not). So it’s up to the parents to teach their children what is good and what is not. I have several kids who regularly refuse sweets and it doesn’t hurt my feelings one bit! States and school districts, and not individual teachers or schools, are the ones in charge of this matter.
I just found your blog (I love it!!) and I am reading through past entries. I am a teacher and I do say what snacks (healthy-and I provide a long list of healthy snacks) and b-day treats (non-edible) are allowed in my classroom. I feel I am a role model so I need to be a positive healthy role model. Most kids do not get information about healthy food choices at home, so it is the teachers responsibility! My principal won’t change to a school wide policy but he supports my choices for my classroom. Keep up the good fight!
That’s so refreshing to hear! I hope my kids have teachers like you someday. 🙂
I hope Luke feels better and the doctor can find out what exactly is bothering him! 🙁
I too plan on only having healthy foods around the house. I don’t mind if they indulge during the holidays and special occasions, but I too would be concerned on what snacks they were having at schools. It’s so appalling how much sugar schools with allow kids to have!
School, birthday parties, baseball games (consession stand) and play dates are the hardest things to get around when it comes to sweets and processed junk food. My oldest never new what a juice box was either until preschool. Our younger two were exposed to the juice boxes at an earlier age but I always tell them the importance of drinking water too.
We have had our share of treats in the house over the Easter week, however, I actually stuffed their basket with the left over candy from valentines day. So it does go a long way in our house. I try to give them whole foods at home and not stress the rest. It’s tough sometimes though!
There is one forbidden thing and I won’t bend on it. Caffine filled Soda. I explain that soda is for are those adults that want them and choose to allow their kids to have it. I can count on one hand the amount of sprite each child has had at b-day parties (because it is caffine free, I caved in) but they know that the dark brown, purple, and orange soda is off limits. They don’t argue this point anymore either, 9 times out of 10 they opt for the juice boxes at parties vs. the soda, even sprite.
You are doing great with Meghan, keep it up. It will all pay off in the end and she will make her own healthy choices as she has been starting to do!
I feel that children who are started with wholesome food (and wholesome treats) don’t find the processed desserts as satisfying. I’ve heard about multiple families like this.
P.S. Luke looks so adorable! Even if he does have spit up rolling down his cheek 😛
This is SUCH an issue at our house! We feed our kids almost 100% clean but not a day goes by that my preschooler isn’t offered junk by somebody, be it at preschool, at a friends’ house, at Costco or at the bank (I hate people who just hand my kids lollipops without asking me first!). It drives me nuts at school especially that they teach the kids about food groups and healthy foods, then give them cookies and juice immediately afterward.
I try not to make a big deal out of candy when it wanders into our house around the holidays, but it’s really tough to appear nonchalant since it’s an issue that matters so much to me! We usually put the candy somewhere out of reach and allow the kids to pick something 1-2 times per day. My preschooler eats like her Daddy and eventually loses interest (then I throw the rest away), but my 2 year old eats like me and would sit and finish every last bite in one sitting if we’d let her! I have to try those birds nests on my girls though because despite being raised since birth on healthy whole foods my kids choose candy over my homemade treats every time!
You’re such a good mama! I would definitely consider that a win, it is so hard to raise a child when society tells them that whole food is ‘gross’ ect…. My students tell me all the time that they feel sorry for my baby- I feed it yucky food. They are just not exposed as I would like to whole food and healthy food! Drives me NUTS!
….I hope you find out what is going on with your little Luke! I’ll say a prayer or two that the doctors can give him some relief.
Growing up, I struggled with this. Or rather, my mom did, I guess. She never allowed me to have certain things that I wanted (sugary cereals and Capri Suns come to mind) so when I went to friend’s houses, I always gorged on it.
I have always struggled with it, but have become even more aware now that I realize how much sugar was in the “healthy” stuff we have at home. I have been reading your blog for a while while I built up the courage to do something on my own. So 2 weeks ago, I attended a healthy eating seminar at work. After that I (along with my husband) made the decision to make sure I understand the ingredients in the food I buy. This changes a lot! But makes the candy section easy. Candy doesn’t work! 🙂 Off topic now… Well this last weekend, we think we finally figured out the trigger to my daughter’s upset stomachs. MILK! Ugh. so now buying dairy free means I don’t understand ingredients anymore… a lot to learn! Fortunately, she just wants her tummy to feel better and has been so good about trying new food and letting Daddy have her Easter candy from Grandma.
Anyway, off topic. I think limiting sweets at home is as good as I’m going to get. But next year I will have to make the decision whether to pack her school lunches or let her eat at school. Advantages to both. Not sure yet…
i hope you figure out whats bothering his belly soon 🙁 he is so precious! when the time comes, i definitely want to have a realistic and balanced approach when it comes to sugar.
Let me tell you what, at our house it is a daily struggle! Not because I keep it in our house, but, because it is given out ALL the time at school. I’m not talking about occasional treats. I’m talking about treats given out for reading a book at home to all members of the family and when returned you get to pick a piece of candy from the treasure chest, donuts for the Easter party, cupcakes for someone’s birthday every other week(it seems), candy for returning homework on time, parents are being asked right now to send in Little Debbie snacks, peanut butter crackers, and chips for the testing that will be going on in two weeks! Now, my child will not be partaking in the Little Debbie snacks during testing. I have given him instructions about what snacks he may eat during the testing week, but, come on, do we really want our kids eating Little Debbie snacks, peanut butter crackers from a package, and chips during a testing week when their brains need to be in tip-top shape and their concentration needs to be spot on???!!!?? Ok, off of my soapbox now, but, lately the sugary treats have really been out of hand at school. So much so, that I’m considering writing an email to the principal to voice my complaints. We talk about food all the time at home and I’m educating them about what processed food does to our bodies, but, the peer pressure gets to them and they eat far more candy, treats, etc. at school than I would like them to.
I can totally see that happening because it starts in preschool! When she started this year I was shocked at how often “snack” was a sugary treat. I also have had to deal with her having juice at school–something she never had a home before. Now she wants it when she sees it at play dates, etc, where before she didn’t even know what it was. This is going to be a tough issue as she gets older. I think you should totally email the principal. If no one speaks up, change will never happen. Good luck!
I have to agree with Maryea on this one. You should definitely talk with people at the school, that’s how change happens. It’s such a bummer to feel like you are undermined by what they are getting at school. And there are so many alternatives, pencils, books, bookmarks, etc and I’m sure that parents would be willing to send in granola bars, trail mix, pretzels (all a little better than Little Debbie). I love my daughter’s teacher because she states “only fruit, veggies or cheese for snack time”. She can’t mandate lunches but she does snack. I just want to encourage you because not only are you working for your own children, you are working for children whose parents don’t know any better and that will only benefit them! Good luck!
I’m pretty sure I couldn’t say it better than you! That is the method I will be taking when I have kids – keep the treats out of the house, but if a special occasion comes up, so what? They’re kids – let them enjoy it!
Ditto!! such a great example you are to us all Maryea.