The last four weeks have passed by in a wonderful, exhausting fog. It really is true that with motherhood comes amnesia and as time passes, you forget what the newborn stage is really like.
You forget what it means to operate on a small amount of fragmented sleep on an everyday basis. You forget that the meaning of “me time” changes from getting away for an afternoon of shopping to getting a five minute uninterrupted shower.
And even though you’ve been warned, you don’t fully understand what it means to transition from one child to two. There are no words that can truly prepare you for what it will be like.
At one month postpartum, however, I am starting to feel normal again. As Luke starts to settle into a more predictable routine, I’m starting to find my groove and realize that I can do this. Here’s what’s been happening the last month.
Life with Luke
This little guy has been a complete joy, even if he has turned our lives upside down.
Although “little” is a relative term. He was 9 pounds, 11 ounces at birth, and at his check up with the pediatrician 3 days later, he’d already gained back his birth weight. At another check up at the two week mark, he was up to 10 pounds, 7 ounces. I don’t know how much he weighs now as he isn’t due for another check up until 8 weeks, but he’s outgrowing his clothes at an alarming rate.
Generally, Luke is a happy, mellow baby. He cries when he needs something, but overall has a great disposition. Can everyone please take a moment to knock on wood? I’m paranoid I’m going to jinx it and he’ll wake up with colic tomorrow!
During the day he nurses, we play with him for a few minutes, and then he’s ready for a nap. He naps like a champion. Night time is another story. One thing I could always count on with Meghan was going back to sleep after a middle of the night feeding. I’d feed her, change her diaper, and she’d go right back to sleep.
Luke has other things in mind in the middle of the night. He tends to be fussy and has trouble settling back down to sleep after feeding, which means I’m awake with him for long stretches in the night.
I mentioned this to the pediatrician, and after talking to her about his stools (always a fun conversation), she suggested he might have a sensitivity to the protein in dairy. I cut it out just to be safe for now. She also suggested we try gas drops, which we’ve started giving him after every feeding. He no longer cries like he’s uncomfortable at night, so I think these measures have helped some. I am just hoping that something clicks soon and he learns to go back to sleep after nursing in the middle of the night.
Breastfeeding is going really well. He latched on perfectly at the hospital and hasn’t looked back. It’s actually been quite a bit easier with him than it was with Meghan. He feeds every 2 1/2-3 hours and we haven’t had any issues.
I plan to introduce the bottle with expressed breast milk this week. I hope it goes well so that I can let Tim do a feeding now and then. And maybe I can even get away to get my hair done one of these days. Maybe.
Big Sister Meghan
Meghan adores Luke. She loves it when “his eyes are open” and lays by him, reads to him, and kisses him. She has a lot of trouble, however, sharing me. She doesn’t like it when my attention has to be on Luke.
The first two weeks she was just really emotional and would cry when I was nursing Luke. She actually asked me if she could have some of Mommy’s milk, too, which broke my heart. A few times she started crying out of the blue and when I asked what was wrong, she’d say, “I don’t know”. It was so sad to see her like that because I knew she was just confused and trying to figure out her feelings of loving her brother, yet not liking having to share her parents.
The last two weeks she’s acted out more. She’s become more whiny and difficult. Tim and I are doing the best we can to make sure each of us is spending ample one-on-one time with her and encouraging her to help with Luke duties as much as possible.
I think as time goes by and she gets accustomed to our new routine, she will get better and we’ll see more of her normal, happy self. Even if she’s getting into mischief.
And Finally…Me
Despite my state of sleep deprivation, I’m feeling great. I have another two weeks until my postpartum checkup, but I’m really anxious to start exercising again. Mostly I’m anxious to be able to wear and feel good in my normal clothes again. I have about 10 pounds to go before I’m back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I fit into a few pairs of my jeans, but the tops is where I’m having the most trouble. My stomach still sticks out and I don’t feel comfortable in very many of my shirts. I searched through all of my pictures to find one of me, and this one from Christmas (1 week postpartum) was all I could find. Guess I need to start giving Tim the camera more.
Emotionally I’m kind of all over the place. One day I feel energetic and ready to conquer the world (okay, that means just make it through the day at this point) and then other days, when I’m still in my pajamas at 4 o’clock, I feel stressed and like I’m never going to be able to get anything done ever again. It’s crazy having to adjust to a new life with postpartum hormones raging through your body.
Some good news is that I’m able to get back into the kitchen more and more. I have a recipe coming tomorrow for a grain-free, dairy-free, delicious muffin, so make sure you check back!
How precious!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats!! 🙂
Beautiful family! My daughter and son are about the same age spread, and he is 1 1/2 now and they are best friends already, even though she was a little jealous at first.
Oh, that’s so great to hear! I’m looking forward to the day when Meghan and Luke will be friends. 🙂
I am echoing others’ comments but when I saw Luke’s first picture in this post, I immediately thought he looks like your daughter! Good luck with the next month and thanks for the update!! 🙂
“Breastfeeding is going really well.” <– I'd say. Regaining birth weight in 3 days is kinda a good sign 🙂
CONGRATS to you all for doing well and adapting to life with a new peanut!
Definitely got my cute kid and baby fix from this post. He’s just precious. I just LOVE the picture of Meghan with the make-up.
I can’t believe it’s been 1 month already! I can’t wait to meet Luke. I totally think he looks a lot like Meghan. And, it does all level off. Either that, or you just get accustomed to the chaos! Whichever it is, things start to fall in to place! You look so happy! Love you!
Your kids are too cute! I remember life from one baby to two rocked my world. I struggled with it a bit.
It sounds like you are doing very well and luckily those post partum hormones will start settling down very soon. Im envious!!
It is amazing how we forget those long sleepless nights…I am very anxious as to how I am going to handle everything this summer once ours is born…
You’re doing fantastic mama and don’t doubt that! My little girl loved her baby brother for about a week and then she was like ‘oh, he’s staying?’ Not really, but I know she felt that way. I think it’s a fantastic gift for an only child to become a sibling, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy transition. Mine are 6 and 3 and I still think there are days she’d take him back to the hospital. Ahhh – big sisters with their little brothers. 🙂
Just keep taking each day as it comes and give yourself the grace you are extending to everyone else. The clothes will absolutely fit again and you will absolutely sleep again. It just may not be tomorrow. 😛 Wish I lived closer and could come help you out a bit.
Aw, thanks, Michelle. And thanks for the great reminders. It’s not going to be like this forever. 🙂
Ah, the post baby emotions – both yours and the older sibling’s. It’s crazy, but sounds like you’re all happy and handling it well. I can’t believe its been a month!
It goes by so fast, doesn’t it? I keep reminding myself of that when I’m in the trenches of a crazy day.
Ah, yes, I remember those days. Well, sort of. They are mostly a blur, but I do remember feeling a lot like you do. Overwhelmed at times and other times not as much. Just always remember that it does get easier, though I’m not sure how much comfort that is to you right now. Hang in there. Both of your babies are just beautiful!
Thank you, Candy. I know this stage doesn’t last long, but some days seem to take forever to get through. Funny how that works!
It was great to hear from you! Luke is so adorable!
I hope things getter better very soon with Meghan. Poor little thing! I can only imagine how hard it is. I’m the youngest of 7 so I never had to deal with being jealous of a younger sibling. I wish you all the best and stay strong!
Thanks so much, Lisa.
You sound like you’re doing great – I’m sure going from one to two can be quite a challenge!!
You are such a trooper!! One thing that help us when Sabrina was born was giving Alicia a task while I nursed Sabrina. I would have Alicia pick out a special book to read, watch a special video, sing songs, make up a story but always while she snuggled next to us. That way she was part of the “mommy” time. I also let Alicia pick out outfits for her. Alicia loved making pictures, so as she got more comfortable with Sabrina having alone mommy time, I would have her draw pictures for Sabrina’s room or for grandparents. When I was done feeding, I would write the description she gave me of the drawing on the back and let her seal the envelope, put the stamp on it and mail it. She LOVED that! And getting a letter back was always fun. And just so you know…they still fight for mommy time! Lol
I love the picture/letter idea–thanks! I put together a few “busy boxes” for Meghan to have special things to do while I am nursing, but so far she’d rather try to share my lap when I’m nursing. 😉 Ay. Hopefully she’ll soon get sick of that and want to do other things.
Maryea, you’re such a great mama! ….I’m sure the transition from one child to two is one of the most difficult things a mother can go through. So much new, so much to get used to, so little sleep, and so many tears from everyone involved. I’m saying a prayer for you, it is a blessing but such an adjustment!
Oh, thank you so much Julie. I appreciate your prayers greatly! 🙂
Aw, great post! First off, I have to say I can’t believe it’s been a month! I know exactly what you mean about going from one to two. Nothing can prepare you for that – it’s hard but it does get better! Meghan is so cute with Luke. I’m sure she’ll be back to her normal self soon 🙂 I hope you start feeling like your normal self again soon – I know exactly what you mean about postpartum hormones! Not fun! You’re doing an amazing job! Keep it up 😀
Thanks, Heidi. Everyday seems to get a little better, so there’s hope! 🙂
Luke looks so much like Meghan especially in that first picture. I can’t believe it’s already been a month.
I know I’ve been looking at her newborn/infant pictures and they look even more alike than I thought.
happy 1 month Luke! And way to go on doing so well all things considered Maryea. It IS easy to forget how challenging the newborn period can be… (ack!)
Maybe you know this already or maybe the ped told you, but it can take up to 2 weeks for the proteins from dairy to leave your system, so don’t feel discouraged if you don’t see immediate improvement on his part after a couple days of going dairy free.
Hang in there mama! They’ll be playing together and keeping each other busy before you know it!
The ped actually told me it could take up to 4 weeks, but that his symptoms should improve before that. His stools are still mucus-y (gross, sorry), but he definitely seems less uncomfortable in the evenings now.
You are an amazing woman! Congratulations for getting through the first few weeks and I´m so impressed that you have the energy for making posts. I know that I sure didn’t after my daughter was born. 😉
Oh, thank you! It’s encouraging to read your words because I was beating myself up about not being able to get it together enough to post more often this first month.
Gorgeous pictures! Hang in there mama, you are doing great! I love the Best Gift Ever shirt!
Thank you, Jane!
Love the update! Can’t read to read more. Luke is such a big cute boy!
Thank you! 🙂