When I was pregnant with Meghan, although I’d heard the term “birth plan”, it wasn’t something I thought I needed. The only thing I was really adamant about was breastfeeding as soon as possible after the birth, and that was already the policy at the hospital where I was delivering.
I feel more educated this time around and know there are certain things I’d prefer to avoid, if possible. Because of this, I’ve decided to have a “birth plan” in place so the doctors and nurses who are aiding my delivery are aware of my preferences. I don’t trust myself to be able to communicate my wishes when I’m in the middle of labor or right after giving birth. I’ll be lucky if I can remember my name at that point.
I have no grand delusions that you can perfectly plan a birth. Things are going to go how they go, if you know what I mean. So “birth plan” may be the name of the document I’m going to present to my doctor, but in reality, these are my hopes. My wishes. What, in a perfect world, I’d like to see happen.
Maryea and Tim’s Birth Plan
Early Labor
Environment
- Low lighting
- Music playing (I will bring)
Mobility/Monitoring
- I would like the ability to move about freely as much as possible
- I prefer to not have an IV for hydration unless absolutely necessary
- I would like intermittent, external monitoring
Labor Induction/Augmentation
- Allow labor to progress naturally as much as possible, as long as mother and baby are safe
- No Pitocin unless medically necessary
- If Pitocin is necessary, I request the lowest dose possible
- I prefer my amniotic sac be allowed to rupture on its own
Pain Relief Options
- I will attempt to use natural pain relief techniques first
- Please do not offer an epidural; provide only if requested
- No other pain relief medications are desired
Late Labor/Pushing
- I would like to be able to push in whatever position is most comfortable for me
- I would like to avoid an episiotomy unless absolutely necessary
After Delivery
- I would like to hold the baby immediately after the birth and breastfeed as soon as possible
- Tim would like to cut the cord
- Tim or I would like to be present for all tests and procedures done on the baby
- Avoid Pitocin after the birth
Baby Care
- We will bring our own soap for the baby’s bath
- I will be exclusively breastfeeding and would not like my baby to be offered any formula or pacifiers
- I would like the baby to be in the room with us
- I would like to meet with a lactation consultant as soon as possible
This is what I came up with after reflecting on my first birth experience (read Meghan’s birth story part 1 and part 2), doing additional research, and reading a lot of birth plan examples. It isn’t as detailed as some, but it highlights what is most important to me and Tim.
As you can see, I am not 100% decided on whether I’ll have a completely natural birth. I left it open-ended with “please do not offer an epidural; provide only if requested.” I’ve read so many great natural birth stories and think I would love the benefits: easier recovery for mom, more alert baby, and feelings of empowerment.
There is one little thing, however, that’s holding me back. Fear. I am scared of the pain. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not being able to handle it. So if I can’t, I can’t. But I will certainly try. Many of the things I’ve set out to accomplish in life I’ve done, so maybe I’ll surprise myself with more strength than I think I have during this birth!
Question: Did you have a natural birth (or do you plan to if you’ve never given birth)? What was your birth experience like?
You’ve got this! We just celebrated the first birthday of our first little bean, so I have been reflecting back on my labor and delivery over the past week. I think the best thing I did to prepare myself for a natural birth was to educate myself on the entire process in order to be prepared for the changes my body would be going through during early labor, labor, pushing, and delivery. I knew what I was feeling was normal so I kept telling myself to let my body take over and do what it was made to do. Being a college athlete myself also gave me that extra “tough” and “competitive” spark to not be defeated, because I knew natural would be best for my baby. I had an extremely long labor (22hrs), and ended up standing up doing wide, deep squats for over half of that time. Although my legs hurt the following day, I was very glad that I kept in shape throughout my pregnancy. I would really recommend doing them during contractions, it eased the pain slightly, gave me something else to focus on, and made things progress faster. I hope everything goes smoothly for you!
Thanks for the tips, Kate! And wow–squats throughout labor? You sound like a super star! 🙂
If you put you mind to it, (barring medical complications or necessities) you will absolutely be able to do it.
I was extremely fortunate to be able to have a very normal natural birth that was quite close to my “plan”, which looked very similar to yours. I do have a couple suggestions if you haven’t done them yet: make sure you go over your plan with each doctor that could possible deliver you. My doctors were really not keen on not having an IV, but I really didn’t want to be hooked up to something. We compromised; when I got to the hospital I got a “hep lock” (I think that is what it is called) – that way the IV was ready for emergency medicine or hydration if necessary (and also, then if you do decide to get an epidural, you don’t have to deal with getting an IV at that point).
I also made an extremely brief version of my birth plan and printed it onto small flat note cards. I did this for the nurses, because a) your nurse is more likely to read it and b) you may have multiple nurses.
All for now!
Thanks for the tips! I was just reading about hep locks; I’ll have to see what my doctor says. I’m not sure if I’m going to be seeing all the doctors who could possibly be delivering me-I guess I better make sure I do.
I think your plan sounds excellent.
I plan to have a natural birth. One thing that I hope will help me get through it is knowing my mom and grandmother had natural births. If they can do it, why shouldn’t I be able to get through it too? Of course I know everyone is different but I do hope to have a natural birth someday. 🙂
Maryea:
So exciting to hear and watch your progress! I think thinking ahead is a huge part of being successful. I often say to my patients (I’m a L&D RN): It’s okay, it hurts, and you can do it. I also mention (and remind myself) that this pain gets you to a baby, other pain means there is something wrong but this pain is different. It seems like a simple thing to think about but it was key for me.
I had my first completely natural (with 7 hours of pitocin) and remember my midwives and hubby talking me through a few contraction at a time. (For example: “We’re going to do 3 contractions while you are sitting on the birth ball and then we are going to do something else…) That way I was only focused on a little while and not how much farther I had to go. And eventually I was done…
With my second and third I had a paracervical at 9 1/2 cm and 7 cm which helped me psychologically if not physically :). If/when I have a fourth I am hoping to go totally natural again, it’s pretty amazing.
I love being in the jacuzzi for labor with my third, I kept moving from sitting to hands and knees with every contraction and I really felt like that helped with the pain and with the position of the baby.
Stay strong with getting up and moving around, as long as the baby looks fine the national standards say that intermittent monitoring is appropriate.
I love to see women who want to breastfeed and not be separated from their newborns. Skin to skin time is huge for the transition from in you to being in the world, good for baby, good for mom, so tuck him with only a diaper on inside your gown. (Sorry, a soapbox of mine…)
I pray that your labor goes well and that you and baby bean are healthy.
It’s okay, it hurts and you can do it!!!
Thank you, Cary! Your stories are so helpful and I love hearing from RNs who encourage natural births.
I did a natural birth with my daughter – not by choice but limited by how quickly she decided to get out of me. We were at the hospital a grand total of 45 minutes before she was born. Just enough time to get the urine sample, IV, 100 questions and antibiotics infused. My husband was in charge of getting the music, Born to be Wild, and a bunch of oldies — of course that never made it to the hospital. The bag of clothes and camera still in the car when Em arrived. I asked for pain medication 3 times but not available quick enough as “It might not really take effect at this stage.” I am a nurse so I knew what I wanted. I knew it was bad when I nurse stepped out the door to hollar for help and they told me to stop pushing, which is completely impossible. The doctor lived 6 miles away, but made it with 5 minutes to spare. Labor was intense but I would do natural again. Only a small tear with delivery and really I thought that breastfeeding was like getting electricuted 60-80 times a minute – hurt alot more than the actual birth. Of course that got better with time too. Go for natural.
Hi Maryea! Great job on the birthplan and I hope it is executed to the T! Mostly I hope that you can take in the beauty and excitement of it all.
With Lily my water had broken 3 wks early and no contractions, so they gave me pitocin. It all progressed quickly and I got a spinal and epidural at 9 cm… I know, why bother, but it certainly took the edge off and I became comfortable and almost euphoric and really could be present in the whole experience.
With Ryan everything started naturally on it’s own (5d late) and I was 6 cm when we got to the hospital. I am very active in yoga and with running/walking everyday and even listened to successful birthing meditations. I wanted to try to see if I could progress and deliver without an epidural, but also told myself that if I wanted pain control to listen to my body. I felt like I could not relax my body and “let go” during the contractions, so I said “yes please!”. (Good idea to not have them ask you;)) I had another beautiful spinal followed by epidural, felt everything and again relaxed and enjoyed. Ultimately it was for the better because I pushed for an hour (they said 3 pushes and done!) because he was “sunny side up”. I work in surgery and know the nurse anesthetists that helped me and they do amazing work! Just don’t feel like a failure if you give into your needs. But I am hope you can do it girl!
Also, Ryan was so alert and looking around and making eye contact for hours after birth! Keep enjoying those last months before family of 4!
I had a whirlwind birth experience with D (our first). She came 8 days early, and the night before she was born I started having some back pains during the night. Nothing unusual, though, since by that point sleeping overall is just uncomfortable anyway. By about 5 or 6 the next morning, the pain had moved around to become really really low cramps. Around 9 I called the dr since I was getting really uncomfortable and not sure what was going on, totally not thinking it was labor. We finally headed to the hospital just before 11 (things were really painful now), I was wheeled up to a triage room to be checked, was at 9cm with a bulging bag (what!?!?!!), and D was born at 11:17. We hadn’t even had time to get checked in before she arrived. So yeah, even if I’d had a birth plan it would’ve been out the window. 🙂 I was extremely grateful for a fast, complication-free delivery, and it was obviously all natural. No time for pain meds in there anywhere. My plan had been, however, to try to go as long as I could without meds, but that was really the only thing I had set in my mind. Being my first baby I just had no idea what to expect, so I knew it didn’t make any sense for me to get too attached to a specific plan.
Wow that is my ideal birth situation! Not sure you’re in labor, get to the hospital, find out you’re dilated 9 and you have a baby in your arms a few minutes later! Maybe if I visualize it enough it will happen to me. 🙂
I’m in the same boat as you– I love the idea of a natural childbirth, but when it comes down to it, I fear that I’ll buckle under the pressure (and pain) in the moment and cave in to getting an epidural.
We haven’t gotten even close to writing up a birth plan yet…but I’m only at 16 weeks, so we have plenty of time 😉
I won’t beat myself up if I need an epidural, but I’m going to give it the old college try and hope I can go all natural! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. It seems like just yesterday I was only 16 weeks along!
I like that birth plan alot and I hope that doctors, nurses and midwives will follow it!
You can totally do it!
I plan on having homebirths with great music, dimmed lights, a peaceful, welcoming and loving atmosphere, … and healthy babies at the end! we will see how that goes 🙂 But I won´t have any medication, I am soooo sensitive when it comes do that and I really plan to feel everything (yes, I know it´s painful). Very exciting just to be thinking about it, although I´m not even pregnant 😀
Your plan sounds beautiful. 🙂 I didn’t even think about that part of it before I got pregnant, so it sounds like you are ahead of the game!
haha, I know, I totally am! As I said, my mum is a midwife and for me it´s just so natural to talk about these things. I think that is really important, bc many women do not no a thing about birth (about the actual facts, not just horror stories and how fat one became…).
I have had 4 natural births (the largest baby weighed 10lbs 1oz). I am not saying this to brag, but to simply encourage you and re-enforce the fact that you can do it to.
I found that for me, it was purely psychological. Knowing that the pain would be over soon, and knowing that all of the hard work would result in me getting to hold my beautiful baby, was all the motivation I needed.
I also learned, after my first child was born, that your body will only give you as much pain as you can handle. When I got to the point when I really and truly could not do it for another second, he was born and it was over.
The sense of empowerment and feeling like “I am woman, hear me roar”, was overwhelming and amazing ! I loved it !
Clearly, having a natural birth is something that does not appeal to every woman, and that’s okay. It does make me a little sad though, when I hear women who talk about “wishing they could’ve gone natural.”
The truth is, they could have. They can. You can !
You have to do what is right for you, but just remember that your body was made to grow and deliver a baby. If you weren’t able to handle the pain, you wouldn’t have been given this great responsibility.
Sometimes I think it helps to pretend you don’t have another option. Just think if you happened to be in labor, and didn’t have time to get to the hospital. What if you had to deliver at home ? Would you have the option of an epidural. No. Would you still be able to deliver a healthy baby ? Absolutely ! You wouldn’t have any other option.
Good luck with the labor and delivery of your sweet baby. Remember that you are more capable and stronger than you probably know.
Have you seen the documentary “The Business of Being Born” ? It’s well worth your time.
Thank you for the encouragement! My hometown hospital didn’t even offer epidurals until last year, so maybe I’ll pretend I’m delivering there just a few years ago. 🙂
I haven’t seen “The Business of Being Born”, but I checked the on-demand listings after someone recommended it to me last week and couldn’t find it. Maybe I should check the library. Is it too new to be in the library?
I know it is available on netflix. It was made in 2008, so it’s possible that the library might have it.
Here is a link I found that allows you to watch it free online if you are interested…
http://www.zshare.net/video/62983863bf35922e/
I was about 2 weeks past my due date and the Dr’s would not let me go one more day, so my entire labor was induced. From start to finish it was 36 hours. I did the Bradley method, the whole course, and while I learned from it, I don’t think it helped too much for me. I was given every intervention that comes due to the first intervention that the Dr.’s did to me. I was high risk throughout the last 20 weeks of my pregnancy and birth though, so things were very different that what I had in my mind. I ended up begging/pleading for the epidural after 28 hours into labor. After I recieved the epidural it took another 8 hours for our little guy to come with 3 hours of pushing.
Birth two and three were so easy and peacful. I did have the epidural at 4 cm and four hours from start to finish on baby number two.
Baby numer 3 was a drive to the hospital and 20 minutes of pushing. Epidural on very light at 8cm, looking back I didnt need it and I felt almost everything anyway as there wasnt enough time for it to take effect.
All were very different but each time holding my little one made everything all better and the pain go away.
Your birth plan is awesome and it’s great that you left things open in it depending on how you are feeling and doing. You can do this! It’s what our bodies do, and now that this is your second birth, it’s as if our bodies remember and it goes so much easier!
I’m hoping for something quick like your experience with baby #3! Sounds perfect. 🙂
There’s a very good book about the bradley method — I didn’t go to the classes, but I just read through the book and practiced a little (a very little). I wasn’t able to do all the techniques at the actual birth but it was really helpful for the earlier stages. My labor was too fast and it didn’t go exactly the way I wanted it to, but it was way better than with Amaya. It is sooooo hard to get them to let you monitor intermittently. I have no idea why they are so insistent on it. Well, I do, but if you are saying you don’t want it why do they act like you don’t have a choice? I think the only way to get around it is if your doctor says it’s ok directly to the nurses. And then some more force from the husband. Then they might leave you alone. This is the book I read… http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Childbirth-Bradley-Way-Revised/dp/0452276594
Is there such a thing as labor that’s “too fast”? 😉 Where I delivered Meghan (in AZ) they didn’t monitor continuously until they put me on the Pictocin. I’m not sure how they do it here, so I put that in there just in case. I hope this hospital isn’t like your experience. Thanks for the book recommendation–I’ll check it out.
I met similar resistance to intermittent monitoring at my hospital. It drove me nuts when, every time the monitor fell off the heartbeat, a nurse would race in – I got no sleep (and I was there for a long while for a slow induction). The doctor agreed to intermittent monitoring, but I could tell the nurses hated doing it. It made me feel really uncomfortable. Same goes for the IV. I hope you don’t have this experience! Best of luck!
You can TOTALLY do it! It is what you were, essentially, made to do. Don’t let fear creep in. Despite the pop culture we’ve all seen on TV, it’s not that bad. You said so yourself in your first birth story… 🙂 Believe in yourself and your body. You were created to give birth. You CAN do it!
THANK YOU for these words of affirmation!
kinda ironic that i am reading this after just having been to the gyno today. I guess birthing is on the brain. haha. JK. But I love how you plan, so wise and so healthy!
I was in labor for over 50 hours with my first baby–nothing really went according to my birth plan–I wasn’t against an epidural, but I wanted to try every other option first. I didn’t want any other drugs, but that didn’t happen either. (They gave me everything in the pharmacy to try to avoid a c-section, which I *really* didn’t want.) With my second I probably could have toughed it out and went natural, but opted for an epidural just to have a more peaceful “pleasant” birth experience, since my first was everything but. And it totally was. If a birth can be perfect, that one was. I commend you for leaving it open-ended. Do what you feel is right for you, but if it doesn’t go exactly according to plan, don’t sweat it. No one is awarded a medal for their birthing method. Our prize is that baby in our arms, regardless of how he/she came into the world. I wish you well!
oh wow–50 hours?! That is insane. I’m so glad to hear your second birth was perfect. You deserved that! And I totally agree that the ultimate prize is a healthy baby in my arms at the end of it all. That’s the most important thing.
You should check out Hypno Babies. I used that for my daughters birth 3 years ago and am looking forward to doing it again for baby due in March. It gives you a lot of affirmations for your pregnancy as well as birthing process and helpful techniques to use throughout. Granted, with all of those tools, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but also the most amazing experience of my life! I surrounded myself w/ positive birth stories throughout my last pregnancy (no TLC) and enjoyed reading http://www.pregnancybirthandbabies.com/comfortable_births.htm
I’ve also written up my daughters birth story if you are interested in reading it at some point. Good luck on your positive birth journey and remember that what ever way your little one arrives to this world will be the right way for you and your babe!
Thanks for the link; I’ll check it out! I’d love to read your birth story some time. Please feel free to email it to me. 🙂
I ended up having an epidural when I was about 5 cm dilated. I was fortunate that the labor still progressed rapidly, and no pitocin was needed. They tapered off the epidural when I was ready to push. Unfortunately, after an hour of pushing, the baby was in distress (according to the heart rate monitor). So, I had a choice of am emergency c-section, or episiotomy to get her out ASAP. I went with the episiotomy–turns out the cord was around her neck. Luckily, she was fine, and also very alert after being born! She was given to me right away, and we nursed after she was cleaned & examined.
I’m glad to hear your baby was healthy! That’s the most important thing in the end, right?
This would be great for the doctors/nurses that are working with you, they don’t even have to ask, they’ll just know because you are super prepared. That’s awesome! ….I truly believe that giving birth has to be one of the most scary things on earth (not being able to give birth being the only scarier thing; talk about irony 🙂 ) …Each birth and situation being so different – never knowing what to expect. ~Prayers and love~
That’s the hardest part–not knowing what to expect. One of my very best friends just gave birth to her third baby TODAY and her labor and birth were totally different than the first two. I guess you can never really be prepared! Well, unless your name is Michelle Dugger. Then you’ve probably experienced it all. 😉
A friend of mine just gave birth (last week!) to her second baby, and she swears by Hypnobirthing. Maybe something to check out? I too believe you can do it- you are super strong and athletic- and really good at “competing” or pushing yourself:) I think your birth plan looks great, and your attitude about it is even better. I have heard stories of women who were crushed and very disappointed when their (highly detailed) birth plans weren’t able to be followed exactly. Thanks for sharing!
I’ll have to check out hypnobirthing–thank you!
Maryea- have you read any techniques for preparing for natural birth? I felt like I was in training my last trimester, getting mentally and physically prepared for birth. You have a lot of things going for you: you’re in good shape, you have done it once before, you were an athlete (you know how to push yourself, you’re tough), you are very educated about the birth process and you have a supportive husband! I did lots of walking, stretching, squatting to “get in shape”. I even lay in bed holding icecubes in my hand and practiced breathing through the pain. Its kind of dumb when I look back on it but I guess it helped.
I don’t think that’s dumb at all! Giving birth is more rigorous than most athletic events that athletes take months/years to train for, so it makes total sense to prepare properly for a natural birth! I’ve looked at a few websites describing preparation for natural childbirth, but I need to get a good book on the subject. I looked into Bradley classes, but unfortunately I started looking too late for the 12 week course.