So I stumbled upon this YouTube video called Sh*t Crunchy Mamas Say. I watched it thinking it didn’t apply to me. Like at all. Me? Crunchy? Umm…no. I shave my legs everyday. Even in the winter. I’m not kidding.
But then I saw more than one thing that applied to me. Definitely not everything, but enough to make me question if I was, in fact, a crunchy mama.
So what did I do next? I googled “What is a crunchy mama?” Surely Google would help me sort out this identity crisis. That search led me to a quiz, “How crunchy are you?”
Did any of you flip right to the quiz section of your Seventeen magazine to find out once and for all What Your Personal Style Says About You? Yeah, me, too. I was all over this quiz. The highest score you could get was “crunchier than grape nuts” and the lowest score was “jello.”
Turns out I’m “pretty crispy!” Yep. Right in the middle. Sorta crunchy. Here’s why my crunch factor is somewhat stale.
#1: I don’t use cloth diapers. In fact, I can’t even imagine laundering my sweet baby’s not-so-sweetly stained nappies. I do, however, use diapers from the Honest Company. The diapers are all-natural, chemical-free, plant-based, and made with “non-toxic, sustainably harvested, chlorine-free pulp.”
#2. I didn’t have a home birth. I was all for letting someone else clean up the mess and going home to my clean house as soon as possible afterwards. Not to mention having the appropriate medical interventions ready if anything went wrong. I did have a natural, drug-free birth with Luke, though.
#3. I don’t wear my babies. With Meghan I had a hand-me-down Baby Bjorn that killed my back after five minutes of wearing it, and she was a small baby. I heard great things about the Ergo, so I got one of those for Luke. He hated it. I never tried a sling or moby wrap or any of those other contraptions. I was okay either holding my baby or letting them chill on a blanket/bouncy seat/swing. Wearing a baby all day just didn’t seem necessary for me. And I don’t know about all of you, but I’m kind of down with strollers. I like ’em and so do my kids.
#4. My kids sleep in their own crib and bed. Tim and I have actually yet to share our bed with our kids for even one night. To each their own with the co-sleeping thing, but I just couldn’t do it. When the babies were so tiny, I worried I’d squish them. (Okay, Luke was never tiny, but you get my point.) Now that they are older, I know I’d never be able to sleep well. I’m always kicking Tim off of my side of our king-sized bed as it is. I can’t imagine another body (or two!) in there with us.
#5. I don’t do child-led weaning. I’m talking about breastfeeding here, not the introduction of solid foods. Two different things, similar name. While I did breastfeed Meghan until two and hope to do the same with Luke, I initiated the weaning process with Meghan and expect I’ll have to do the same with Luke. I feel like in both cases I could easily be breastfeeding them until 3 or even 4 if I let them lead the weaning process. They love their mama milk! I don’t see myself breastfeeding that long and two years feels like a good compromise.
#6. I read and tried to apply Babywise. Gasp! If you are a true crunchy mama, you are probably cringing right now and wondering how Luke could possibly be in the 99th percentile for both weight and height if I have him on a schedule. For me, however, having a routine is sanity-saving and I can’t imagine doing the sleep and eating part of parenting any differently. If you’ve read along any of my baby updates, however, you do know Luke didn’t sleep through the night early. Or hardly at all in his first year of life. He still doesn’t consistently. I fail at Babywise in not being able to let him cry it out in the middle of the night. He is a breeze to put down to sleep, though, and naps like a champ and I thank some of the Babywise principles I used for that.
#7. I really like shoes. I attempted to count them for this post, and then I stopped when I realized the number was absurdly embarrassing. None of the too-many pairs are Birkenstocks, either. I do like to walk barefoot in the summer time. But then I have to immediately wash my feet because having dirty feet gives me the heevy-geevies.
#8. I don’t breastfeed in public. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with breastfeeding in public. In fact, I kind of envy the mamas who do this. What freedom! You can be on the go and just get the feeding thing done with. I have tried it a few times, and I felt so totally awkward and think I blushed the whole time. My logical mind knows that everyone isn’t staring at me, but that’s how it feels.
#9. We vaccinate on schedule. I know this one is really controversial, but I felt like it was right for our family based on the research we did. We opt out of the flu vaccine, but other than that we get them per the doctor’s schedule.
#10. I wash my hair, use deodorant, wear make-up (pretty much everyday) and shave (a lot). I love apple cider vinegar, but don’t use it on my hair. I do use natural products, but can’t give them up entirely. And I mentioned the shaving thing in my introduction. Yeah, I don’t like hair on my legs or under my arms. Kind of like dirty feet, it gives me the heevy-geevies.
When it comes right down to it, I think labeling parenting (or lifestyles) is kind of silly anyway. We are all just trying to do our best for our children based on what we know. I thought it was fun to explore what a crunchy mama is, though, and I was surprised that I fit the description more than I realized.
What about you? Where do you fit in on the crunchy scale? Totally crunchy or more like Jello?